Leading Life For and Through You Kids

Let me be honest about something. I was born in Colorado and raised in Alaska - I should have been an outdoorsman already but I wasn't. Somewhere along the line my boys became enthralled with the idea of hunting and fishing - the outdoors in general. It was constant pressure to go here or there hunting or fishing, and oh heavens the money we have spent on rifles, fishing gear, tents, travel, guides,... I was gradually tiptoed down the path of becoming an outdoorsman because I had to be one.

What a fiasco it has been at times. If I knew anything about hunting it sure wasn't anything about how it was done in the Ozarks of Missouri. If I knew anything about fishing, it was salmon, halibut, and trout. Ten years ago I couldn't tell you the difference between a smallmouth and a largemouth bass. Together, my boys and I, we have come quite a ways but I am certain there have been times when they wondered whether their fearless leader was ever going to lead them to harvesting a deer. They never made me feel that way and I can only hope that through what they have learned through our successes and failures, they are able to enjoy their experiences to the fullest and pass them on more easily to their kids.

This brings me to a question. What happens when you have reoriented your life as a parent to something your kids are passionate about and then they develop other interests? You know - those nasty terrible ones which they don't need their Dad for. Luckily, it seems to me that the context in which I have experienced this is my oldest son, now a freshman in college, who is so incredibly balanced in his interests and is gradually putting together his life in a way I could not have scripted in my wildest imagination. He still hunts and fishes with Dad and younger brother when he can, and that's pretty often. Other times he is busy getting straight A's in high school and getting high grades in college, not drinking or doing drugs with his friends, performing in college athletics, or hanging out with his beautiful high school sweetheart. I certainly am bragging a bit here.

So finally, here's what it comes down to. I have one chance left to make sure my youngest son does not go down this same terrible path. He needs to remain completely dependent on his Dad for all things and never develop these other nefarious interests. Of course what I really mean is that to lead life for my kids I have to loosen the ties that bind us so closely together. Whether my youngest son makes the same or different decisions as his older brother, I have to gradually facilitate his growth into manhood. I must rise to the challenge of embracing the adventure ahead as I find my own way watching my boys grow into young men.